St Valentine’s Day - Safety Advice For Blokes.

Yes tomorrow is St Valentine’s Day – St Valentine being the Patron Saint of made up days designed purely to sell flowers, chocolates and cards  lovers.

In fact he is officially the patron saint of beekeeping, the plague, epilepsy and fainting. Yes you heard it here first. Still if I run that argument past the missus the chances are I’ll get a saucepan rapped around my head.

So I thought enter into the spirit and put some hearts on the blog – what a great background hey readers? (You wait to Easter I’ve got a fluffy chickens background also- sooo cute!).

Anyway, here’s some Valentine’s Day Q&As

How much should I spend on the other half?

Don’t go overboard now; this is a recession. Cards are available form 7p at ASDA . If you’re thinking of a meal for two, a pair of pot noodles will set you back less than £2.00.

Have I left it too late to get her indoors something nice?

No, you may still have time , Coop is open till 20:00 and they have chocolates; if you’re lucky the roast chickens on the deli counter will also be reduced to £2.00. 

But I’m reading this blog after 20:00 – I’m stuffed right?

No, actually there is a fallback position. Both Triangle Garage and St Michael’s Service Station are both open until 22:00, they do a range of flowers which live in the bucket outside the shop door. If they’re gone then I’d go for the Pringles offer 2 for £2 or a 500ml screenwash.

Is Screenwash a winner? Really?

No, but you left it late and I’m trying to be helpful. Spin her some yarn about you loving her so much that you didn’t want a dirty windscreen causing her to drive into a badly parked milk float …hence the screenwash.

Will she believe me?

No chance!

Any other advice?

Yes, tell her that if she is using screenwash at this time of year to dilute it at a ratio of 3 parts water to 1 part screenwash to avoid freezing.

Pink Screenwash for the ladies.

...and i'm so dead for putting this up.