The Coastguard Energy Equation

They say ‘revenge is a dish best served cold’. Well after being referred to as the Christmas Fairy in yesterdays Blog I’ve decided to ‘strike while the iron is hot’.

So here is a photo of a chap who never eats any biscuits, …..well eating biscuits at 4.37am in the morning.

Above: Ian scoffing biscuits

Joking aside after 3 hours of searching a beach on a cold stormy night you need to keep the energy levels up. However applying the coastguard energy equation calculation:-

x-(6/82kcalories)/(temperature/cc)x(R+T)= Y

Where x is constant and cc=Custard Cream, R=Russian, T= Tea.

Resulting in Y, namely the number of hours that Ian could sustain a search based on the energy in kcalories that he derived from the biscuits eaten.

Now, I’m no mathematician or dietician, or even beautician, but from my reckoning Ian consumed a minimum of nine custard creams which when applied to the above formula demonstrates that he had enough energy to continue searching for at least another nine days. It also demonstrates he is not to be trusted around biscuits.

One further finding from our investigation is that I will now be sweeping the vehicle bay for the next 2 months.