Swanage Coastguard of the Year

Last night was the annual Swanage Coastguard Christmas Dinner which included a couple of awards handed to team members for performance related contributions during the year.

This year the Mike "Spike" Williamson Swanage Coastguard of the year went to Brian Craker.

The award is in memory of Spike who passed away in 2004 and is awarded to the team member who puts that little extra into the team during the year.

Brian's sense of humour and input have really kept the team going this year.





congratulations Brian, well deserved.

We are keeping our Brian

Readers may be aware that a horse called Brian, training to be a police horse may be renamed to fit the tougher image of police horses.




This caused a stir on station and an emergency debate on whether "Brian" was a suitable name for a rough tough volunteer Coastguard.

Thankfully after..... About 3 seconds we decided that our Brian would not officially be renamed unless public demand warrants it.




Brian the Coastguard faces many YEARS of tests before knowing if is really a tough Coastguard. Here speaking to his best friend Ruth (sat to his left)

Helicopters are Rubbish!

Well rubbish becomes a helicopter, really.

As you'll know, its been Swanage Regatta and Carnival all week, and there really has been something for everyone.

The team has been kept busy as usual, but most of us have found time to enjoy some of the carnival events and competitions including Brian who took part in the under-10's beach-combing competition. This involved finding stuff on the beach and making something with it. Aided by daughter Nell, who actually did most of the work, Brian made a model of the Coastguard helicopter out of a smarties tube, ice cream cone, drinks bottle, chip forks and some bottle tops and managed to win 1st place, so well done to him and even more well done to Nell for all her hard work. It really does look good.

Speaking afterwards, an elated Brian said "I think what really made the difference was finding a complete roll of red PVC electrical tape on the beach. What a stroke of good fortune."

Brian's Big Sausage Night

Tonight we have a team fish and chip supper, a chance to get the families together on the beach and thank them for their support over the year. So this morning it was off to the shops to get the salt and vinegar and ketchup. Brian is organising and is in charge of 'fulfilment operations' i.e. he's picking up the food order!

Most people have gone for fish and chips or sausage and chips; others have ordered a variety of random fried items of varying sizes.

Every event needs a name but I'm not sure what we should call tonight ...'Family fish and chip night'...'Chips on the beach' ...Brian's' big sausage night'...

On the way back from the shop we popped over to the Swanage railway engine shed to let my little girl (18 months) wave at random strangers on a train. The 11:20 out of Swanage was full of a right miserable bunch and despite her mad two handed waving only the engine driver and one person waved back.

Anyway we met a very interesting lady called Pauline.....more later.

Brian takes One for the Team

Within the team, there's always one prepared to go the extra mile, and on Tuesday night it was Brian.

When we took the camera man over the cliff we were concerned that his plimsolls weren't really the right footwear for the job, so without a moment's hesitation Brian asked what size he needed and promptly lent him his Size 9's.  What a Star!

Brian was later spotted sitting watching proceedings from the side and not pulling on the tugger to recover the cliff tech, muttering something about no boots.  What a slacker!

Brian laying down again

Butlins and Bob Carolgees

We've been a bit short this weekend, ... to be fair at 5ft 2 Ian's short every weekend.

Lots of the Coastguard Team decided to go on holiday recently and Brian came back today after a lovely week at Butlins.

Gareth: 'Why Butlins ?' I asked
Brian: 'Great fun, the kids love it and you get all you can eat chips, plus I get a whacking great discount'

Gareth: 'Discount?'
Brian: 'Yeah, I used to work there as a Redcoat'
Gareth ' No way! you're pulling my leg'
Brian: 'No, really I did; Bognor - Summer of 1979.
Gareth: 'Rubbish'

Brian: 'Honest'
Gareth 'Yeah right, what did you do then?'
Brian: 'Lots of musical theatre stuff ...once I worked with Bob Carolgees'
Gareth: '...and Spit the dog?'
Brian: 'Yeah, he was alright, good laugh, liked a pint'.

Gareth: 'Who, Spit the dog?'
Brian: 'No you idiot, clearly that was a puppet, it wasn't real'.
Gareth: 'Oh, you've just destroyed my childhood, I thought he was real.
Brian: 'He makes candles now..'

Gareth: 'Who, Spit the dog?'
Brian: 'No, Bob Carolgees'

Gareth: ' Liar, pants on fire'
Brian: ' I'll send you a photo, the camera never lies - but if you tell the rest of the team, or blog it, you're in big trouble'.

Brian - Back Row 4th from left,

Brian: ' You know Austen Rockett worked there too - back row 2nd from right''

*"This story was based on fact, well some facts, not a lot; mostly lies in fact.
Any similarity with fictitious events or characters was purely coincidental." 

Roughty Toughty Coastguards

Who would have thought that this young lad....

Nice Shirt

.....would become a roughly toughly Coastguard.

Brian looking dead hard

Still looking for the boat hook?

Brian still looking for the boat hook.......on the ferry.

If you see this man approach your boat......hide the boat hook.

Brian's Shed

Coastguard Papa (Also known as Brian) is on IRT with me today.

I'm told that this morning he is fixing his shed roof that blew off in the gales earlier this week. In light of this knowledge we have put the rescue helicopter and 'shed extraction team' on full alert should things go pear shaped.

A shed load of work needed.

If you do hear the tell tale scream of a grown man falling through a shed roof, don't worry we have it covered.

Note to self:- Imagine how bad I'll feel if he does actually fall through the roof!

Mensa Candidates

To prove we do actually train and not just blog about it, here's the evidence from last night.

But with the brains of the team missing, the new rescue strop almost got the better of us:

But then the boss found the instructions, and we were back in control:

Still, better to practice and get any issues out of the way on a training night so that when the equipment is used for real we get it right. First time. And every time.

Our Water Man

Trying to sort the drains out last night, Brian in action.........
One bucket of mud later and that got the flow going, just wish it would stop raining.

Brian's New photo?

Last week Brian was concerned that his Coastguard musghot made him look silly.

Luckily I found this photo instead.....

...which relatively speaking makes his mugshot look quite sensible. (Note Rid and John in the background trying not to laugh!)

Brian is like an Invisible Snow Leopard ...no one has a decent photo of him.

Keeping fit

This could be the way in future the Coastguard carry out their patrols!

Here Brian shows how with his rescue suit tucked in his socks and still wearing heavy boots, it is possible to cycle.

I will be discussing with Brian, the lack of head protection and of course we will ensure all members of the team have their cycling badge before heading out.

New member of the Coastguard family

We are pleased to announce that Mr and Mrs Craker...AKA Brian and Eve are the proud new parents to a little girl "Lucy", sister to Nell.

Mum and baby are doing well and we look forward to Brian returning at some stage once he's allowed out.

Brian during Carnival taking his parent duties seriously

That takes the biscuit!

Last night (Monday) saw the team training on the new cliff rescue equipment; a dress rehearsal for our official safety assessment early next week. The training went really well and it’s fair to saying that everyone’s hard work over the last few weeks appears to have paid off. We’re actually looking forward to the assessment and to working with the new kit.

Including the new Petzl ID below:- an explanation another time.

A few ‘Z drags’, and ‘tugger recoveries’ later we retired to the CRE (Station) to debrief over a warm cuppa….and some biscuits.

Now biscuits are a real treat for us Coastguard Rescue Officers and due to our hard work the boss let us have two packs. (not each you understand…to share!). Much like a BBC Cameraman filming a wildebeest at the watering hole your intrepid reporter managed to capture a rare photo of DSO Austen ‘dunking’, while Brian attempted to work out how to open the next packet; just look at their concentration.


Moments after this was taken Austen motioned to the cameramen using ’international sign language’ that he was about to eat another two biscuits. Well I think that’s what he meant?